Saturday, August 11, 2012

Last Raps

I returned to work in mid-May, halftime for about six weeks. Although my physical therapist forewarned me, I was nonetheless staggered by how much energy I expended just getting to work. 

I had to shower every day, brush my teeth every day, fix my hair every day, apply make-up every day, get dressed every day, contend with traffic every day, and walk .2 mile down an incline into a reverberatingly noisy tunnel and then back up out of it every day before I finally arrived at my courtroom. Exhausting. 

I had lived my life at home in a more relaxed, shall we say, manner. And before that, during the first six weeks post-surgery, my poor injured mind couldn’t even conceptualize teeth brushing (see, Bumpy Postoperative Course: Mental).

I was warmly welcomed back which I very much appreciated. It was wonderful to again see my judicial colleagues as well as the prosecutors and defense attorneys who regularly appear in my court.

Still, I found myself longing for the pace and beauty of my life at home. It took nearly two months before I felt fully engaged again at work.
 
I discovered painfully that my vulnerabilities from all that I went through (see, Surgery and Bumpy Postoperative Course[s]) left me more sensitive and reactive than before.  At times this made for tough going in felony court. I noticed, for example, that when a witness lied, I actually felt it in a physical way. I pondered this awareness in order to find ways to regain dispassion.

Despite the struggles and adjustments, I feel happy and have zest for living. 

I fought for that zest while I was ill and wrestled it from the jaws of death.

I have it when my husband looks yearningly at me despite my altered physical appearance. I have it as I delightedly explore the craft of writing. I have it when I awake in the morning, and I have it when I retire at night.
                ~~~
This is my last post on this blog. Thirty seems like a good number to end with.

People from 60 countries have viewed this blog and there have been more than 11,000 page views. The page views continue to rise as new people discover the blog.

Thanks for reading and for being with me on this journey. 

I will initiate a new blog in due course; I haven’t yet finalized its focus and title. But I’ll let you know.


© Jean DiMotto, 2012   Website: www.jeandimotto.com